本句核心含义是If any dispute arises, it shall be referred to the Disputes Review Board。原英文句子难解难译的关键在于从句中的中心成分dispute后有一个较长的定语成分in connection with, or arising out of, the contract or the execution of the works,同时又有一个很长的同位语成分including any disagreement by either party with any action, inaction, opinion, instruction, determination, certificate or valuation of the Engineer。这个和中心成分关系密切的定语成分却被arises between the Employer and the Contractor强行与中心成分隔开。而同位语离中心成分更远,两者严重脱节,当读到此同位语时,读者不得不再掉头回去寻找与其相关的中心成分。两个whether短语都修饰arises,本应按照靠近原则紧贴arises,但由于whether结构太长被迫后移,插入到同时与dispute有关的长定语和长同位语之间,使得各个成分之间的相互关系更加繁杂。在主句中,in the first place插入到复合谓语shall和be referred to之间,显然是作谓语的状语,谈的是争端解决的先后步骤,意思是将争端首先提交给the Disputes Review Board以寻求解决途径,而不是越过the Disputes Review Board直接去找仲裁机构要求仲裁,只有当对the Disputes Review Board的决定不服时才可再找仲裁机构仲裁(下文也正是接着这个思路说下去的,本处未引出来)。如果将之理解为作整个主句的句子状语,则意思就变为首先要将争端提交给the Disputes Review Board,然后还如何如何,这样就使人想到除了寻求解决方法外,还需要采取诸如停工、罚款等其它措施,这和下文内容不符。由于各个组件安排不合理导致意义的含糊。在修辞上,从主从句整体布局来考虑,由于从句太长,主句太短,有头重脚轻的失衡感,不能达到尾重的语言效果。另外,在章法上,从句中主要信息(any dispute arises)和主句相离,衔接不紧。The matter实质是对从句中any dispute(争端)的复指,虽然可以增加主从句的粘接力,但由于中间夹杂了太多的次要枝节,阻断了行文的流畅和思路的连贯。在措辞方面也不太妥当,从句中的dispute和主句中的dispute同形不同意,一个是作为事物名词使用(争执的内容,即争端),一个作为表动作的抽象名词(争论的过程,即争执)使用,在正式文体中这种同形不同意的用法应尽可能避免,最简洁的办法是干脆省去in dispute。像这样的句子我们可以在保留原意不变的基础上将各个成分进行适当的调整,分流信息,布设均匀,以减轻读者的心理压力。
修改后英文:If, whether during the execution of the works or after their completion and whether before or after the repudiation or other termination of the contract, between the Employer and the Contractor arises any dispute in connection with, or arising out of, the Contract or the execution of the works, including any disagreement by either party with any action, inaction, opinion, instruction, determination, certificate or valuation of the Engineer, the matter shall, in the first place, be referred to the Disputes Review Board.
修改后译文: